2026 begins with a resigned sigh

*** Trigger warning: dog health issues / palliative care***

I had plans to sit down and write a New Year’s Eve blog post yesterday, I had already mapped out what I wanted to say in my head and knew it would be a quick post to write.

My dog Webber had other plans though, I had to rush him to the vet after finding him stumbling around the back yard drooling uncontrollably, barely able to stand. He needed oxygen, was in shock and he spent the day in hospital on IV fluids. He was stable enough to bring home last night, and the vet’s best guess is he had a massive seizure unlike any he’s had before (he has epilepsy), but there’s no way of knowing for sure.

We’re no stranger to emergency vet trips, both my dogs are 16 years old. Chloe is doing reasonably well, but Webber has a very long list of health issues. He’s technically in home hospice care now, and our aim is to keep him pain-free and comfortable. The week before Christmas the vet told me that whilst she doesn’t have a crystal ball, based on Webber’s rapid weight loss, kidney disease progression and other underlying issues, she estimated we have another 4-8 weeks with him, so 2-6 weeks now. He made it to Christmas, and New Year’s Day, but no matter how many days we have with him, it will never be enough.

This may seem like a depressing thing to share on New Year’s Day, on what is meant to be a blog on creativity. I was going to post the expected upbeat summary of my year and talk about why I’m taking a break from markets to focus on painting. I will cover those things in my next post, but today I wanted to share the most important thing going on in my life right now.

In 2025 my priority was Webber’s care, and it has been disruptive, overwhelming, anxiety-inducing and the anticipatory grief is a knife in my heart every day. My days are a blur of giving (so much) medication, trying to get him to eat, making sure he is comfortable. My focus is shattered, finding flow is impossible, I’m exhausted, unmotivated and creativity is elusive. I only finished one painting all year.

I wouldn’t give up a moment of the pain and frustration and disruption though, because it means he’s still here.

With grief knocking so loudly, 2026 has begun with a resigned sigh, but I’m doing my best to make the most of every moment and care for myself and those I love. Maybe creativity will come, maybe not, but I know I need time this year away from the busyness and slog of markets to find my voice, even if it cracks.

Wishing you all a happy, healthy and creative New Year. If you are starting 2026 in sadness, I feel you, we will get through it somehow.

Much love,

Kathy

This blog post is 100% written by me, a living, breathing (heartbroken) human being. Absolutely no AI was used. These are all my own words and images, imperfect as they may be.